As you may or may not know my daughter died in a car accident at the age of 19 (19 yrs 2 mos & 3 days to be exact). Without getting into the details, I'm sure you can understand that this single event changed us forever. Nothing is or will ever be the same.
At that time, someone suggested that I keep a diary. (I'm sorry, dear friend, that I cannot give you credit for this thoughtful tip. There is a lot during that time that I don't remember.) I remember contemplating the idea and not having the fortitude to do anything more than just 'going through the motions'.
Fast forward to this weekend...a busy time of both celebration and sorrow. -celebration in graduations signifying the start of a new life as they know it. -sorrow in a memorial service signifying the end of a friends life. The two couldn't be further apart on the emotional scale yet there are significant parallels. Both events create change. Both require adjusting to a new order of things. BUT...one is a journey by choice; the other an unplanned detour.
I knew what my friend's mother was going through. I had been there. I was ready to step up. Now is the opportunity to apply the one verse I held dear as I was comforted in my grief: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is the father who is full of mercy and all comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God have us. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NCV) I soon learned that this wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. 1 year 8 months & 13 days after my daughter was taken from us, I learned that I was not ready to comfort someone else. I tried my best to be a rock but it took all the emotional strength I had just to hold it together. Why is that? You would think that by now I would be stronger. I want to comfort others who are going through what I went through. I should know just the right thing to say. I've walked in those shoes.
After a long cry that night, I realized that I wasn't ready because I have been, as my friend stated, "Dancing as fast as I can." Avoidance is much easier than the alternative. I never denied this. It's what I needed at the time. So, my blog begins in the hopes that I can move forward in my grief. And, maybe, that next time I will be ready. I'll know exactly what to say.
So, to the mother of my friend and to my friend's husband and 2 sons, I should have said: "This situation stinks! None of us want to be here on this day for this reason. But, I believe, and have experienced, God's works. He knows the number of all of our days. God the Father uses situations in our lives to teach us. The bible says that he does this to grow us spiritually so that we may prosper. I believe it is to help us to be ready for the day we meet Jesus. And, in these situations, besides being given the opportunity for spiritual growth, He reminds us how very precious our friends and family are."
To anyone else reading this blog, I say to you, "Hug your children today and every day. Love your friends and family like it's the last time you will ever see them. Because it just may be."
I'll end my first post with the beginning of every prayer I have prayed since my daughter's death: Lord, thank you for this day! Watch over our friends and families. Guide them and protect them from evil. Keep them safe from harm and help them to walk in the path that You have intended for them. Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment